Atlanta Falcons Draft Day Trade Prediction

Bobby Petrino understands that his success in the NFL will determined by his ability to improve the play of Michael Vick. In order to do everything in their power to make Vick a player worthy of the highest salary in the league (which he's currently getting) they need to surround him with pass catchers who can get open, catch the ball consistently, and make plays downfield. They started off this offseason by bringing in a veteran receiver to show the young guys how to get it done in the NFL (and how to use inanimate objects in a touchdown celebration) by signing Joe Horn in free agency. Then the trade with the Texans moved them even closer to making my predicted draft day trade. By moving Matt Schaub to the Texans, the Falcons not only showed Vick that they have confidence in him and are going to stick with him through thick and thin, but they also received the draft picks they need to move up in the draft and really make a splash.

Calvin Johnson is arguably the best prospect in the entire draft. He's a definite top 5 pick and a guy that can impact a team's offense from the moment he gets in to town. Johnson is a 6'5", 139 lbs wide receiver who grew up in Georgia. He's a two time All-American who won the Biletnikoff Award as the nation's best receiver this past year. In 38 games at GT, Johnson posted 2,927 yards and 28 TDs on 178 receptions. He did all this while catching passes from a quarterback who is a better runner than he is a passer (sound like Vick?). At the combine he ran the 40 in 4.35 seconds wearing someone else's shoes. Not only can he make plays in the passing game, but he's also a very good blocker in the run game considering his position. His former coaches have raved about his perfect off-field behavior and incredible work ethic. If there is such a thing as a can't miss prospect in the crap shoot that is the NFL draft, this guy is it.

In order for Atlanta to draft this home-grown talent, they're definitely going to have to move up. While there is a chance that Al Davis could make him the #1 overall selection, it looks like JaMarcus Russell is going to go at the top spot. Therefore, the Falcons can target the Lions for the #2 pick and ensure they get Johnson. The Lions have been a terrible team during Matt Millen's tenure. There's really no debating that. He needs to make a move in this draft in order to get more picks to upgrade the overall roster and not just one position. After getting Greg Foster and Tatum Bell from Denver for Dre Bly, it isn't necessary for them to take Joe Thomas or Adrian Peterson at the #2 spot. A quarterback would be a nice addition to the team, but Millen needs to win now, so if he picks for the future he probably won't be around to reap any of the rewards. Also, the Lions run Mike Martz's complicated offense which won't be easy for a rookie to pick up right away. Jon Kitna put up decent numbers last year and I think they'll stick it out with him in '07.

Here's what the Falcons need to give up in order to complete this trade:
Their 1st round pick, number 8 overall which they received from the Texans which is worth 1,400 points according to the Trade Value Chart.
Their 7th pick in the 2nd round, which is worth 510 points.
The 2008 2nd rounder which they received from the Texans (I'm guessing that Houston will get the 10th pick next year for sake of making this easier to explain) which equals 480 points.
This year's 11th pick in the 3rd round which equals 215 points.
The 12th pick in the 5th round which is 36 points.
This gives a total value of 2,641 points.

In return the Lions have to give up the following:
The #2 overall selection which equals 2,600 points.
Their 17th pick in the 5th round which equals 33.5 points.
This is a total of 2,633.5 points.

This should be a close enough value to make the trade work for both teams. Then the Falcons can make their pick of Calvin Johnson and the Lions will gain 3 extra first-day picks this year and one next year. Then they'll still be able to help out their team this year with the #8 pick by turning it into a player like LT Levi Brown, S Laron Landry, DE Jammal Anderson, CB Leon Hall (to replace Dre Bly), or WR Dwayne Jarrett (just because Jarrett plays WR and this is Matt Millen we're talking about).

Now that I spent all this time explaining why it will happen, let me now explain why it won't: It makes too much sense.


To see the Trade Value Chart I used, check out: http://www.nfldraftcountdown.com/features/valuechart.html

9 Reasons to Be Excited for Baseball Opening Day

Because eight reasons would be too sparse, and ten would be too excessive and well-rounded...

1) Carl Pavano is the Yankees' opening day starter. That's right folks, a $200 million payroll and their opening day starter has a career record of 61-64 with an ERA of 4.27 and hasn't pitched since June of 2005. Everybody point and laugh while you have the chance.

2) The arms of the Detroit Tigers pitchers might just collectively fall off. We've seen this trend the past few years without fail. Curt Schilling and Keith Foulke have never been the same since the '04 playoffs. The White Sox pitching staff as a whole last year looked about as energetic as John Kruk after a twelve-pack and three extra value menus. Kenny Rogers has already been shut down for half the year. Look for Tigers' young arms to struggle as well. Also keep an eye on the Cardinals' former "ace" Jeff Weaver being an utter failure in Seattle.

3) If you have Direct TV you can watch every game. If you don't, then Bud Selig says to go fuck yourself. (And go fuck your grandma while you're at it).

4) Chicago Cubs and Philadelphia Phillies fans have reason to hope their teams will reach the playoffs this year. And there's nothing funnier than watching Cubs and Philly fans being put on suicide watch by mid-June when their team inevitably fails.

5) Johan Santana is the balls. He's pitching better than anyone since Pedro circa '99. And his window of legendary opportunity is closing shut.

6) The trading deadline will fill us all with false hope for a blockbuster. And then shatter our anticipation once again, when we remember there's nothing in the sports world more overhyped in the internet age than the trading deadline (except arguably, drafts). Just so you know: Andruw Jones, Ichiro, Alex Rodriguez and Carlos Zambrano will be amongst the names ballied about as trade bait this year.

7) The AL Central and NL Central are wide open. The AL Central because so many teams have so much talent (Santana, Morneau, Mauer, Sabathia, Hafner, Sizemore, Zumaya, Sheffield, Konerko, Dye) and NL Central because so many teams completely lack talent.

8) MLB and Bud Selig have to face the Barry Bonds issue. No matter what your opinion of Barry Bonds (hatred level, utter hatred level, homicidal hatred level, member-of-the-media level), he's going to break Hank Aaron's record this year, and it's going to be hilarious. It's going to be hilarious because Bud Selig and the other MLB brass will have to acknowledge it while at the same time trying to keep their distance from it.

9) Because. No Olympics this summer. No World Cup either. What the fuck else are you going to do in between the NBA Finals and the NFL preseason?

Handicapping the Final 4

Pretend for a moment that the degenerate act of sports gambling hasn't been curtailed in a mafioso attempt by the United States government to make sure everyone's paying their taxes on gambling victories and participating in the forms of gambling they can track and/or fix (whoops, did I say fix? I meant, um... influence?).

(Come to think of it, gambling is wrong and immoral and I'm glad this Christian society doesn't stand for it in any form).

But, you know, pretend for a moment this isn't the case.

Sports bettors would be freaking out right now, as they always do on Final 4 eve.

For you see, my degenerate friends, as a victim of circumstance, the Final 4 is year-in-and-year-out one of the most gambled-upon events of the sporting calendar. This is because outside of maybe the NBA Finals, it's the final gambling "event" of what we can refer to as the sports "season" until college football kicks off again in late August. Lots of people are going to try and make some summer vacation money this Saturday and Monday before taking a four-month hiatus from sports wagering (assuming of course, that sports wagering, especially wagering on college sports, was still legal).

So if I know this, and if you (possibly now by extension) know this then, of course, Vegas knows this and wants to take advantage of it.

The public money has been flowing in on the two favorites, Georgetown and Florida (no surprise) and the two Overs (even less surprise).

All four teams have been broken down and analyzed in every way imaginable. If you want to look at a statistical matrix that exists, this will be the 7th and 8th meetings in the Final 4 semifinals of a 1-seed vs. a 2-seed. In five of the previous six meetings, the team that gets a higher percentage of their points from their front-court has won. This gives the slight edge to Georgetown (63.7%) over Ohio State (61.3%) and a significant edge to Florida (60.8%) over UCLA (53.4%).

The only team with a front-court disadvantage that pulled off the victory was Duke in '91, when they upset UNLV. Pat Forde has made an astute argument comparing this year's UCLA team to that Duke team who had been embarrassed by UNLV in the '90 title game.

Then again, Pat Forde is a smug little leprechaun.

But then again, UCLA is an inspired pick, and appears to be a sharp pick. Florida seems to present the same match-up problems that Kansas presented, and the Bruins weathered the Jayhawks just fine.

My picks for Saturday:

Georgetown -1 (high confidence)
UCLA +3 (medium confidence)
Florida/UCLA Under 130.5 (medium confidence)
Georgetown/Ohio State Under 129.5 (low confidence)

Why I Love Sports

Or at least my best attempt to write down in words why I love sports. Describing a feeling, especially one as strong as love or hate is something very difficult to describe, especially for an amateur like myself. Describing why you feel this strongly is probably even more difficult to describe. Who really knows why I feel a certain way about something that others couldn't possibly care less about. Especially something as trivial as a game, a game that really won't affect my life in a positive or negative way no matter what the outcome is.

The thing that truly captures my interest is the ability to watch another person performing at a level that no other human being will ever be able to experience. Despite the fact that every professional athlete is actually very good at their profession, my interest lies in the truly great ones. Michael Jordan, Jim Brown, Wilt Chamberlain, Wayne Gretzky, Tiger Woods, Roger Federer, Babe Ruth, etc.

These very few athletes are the reason I watch games. They're the reason I watch college sports and wait to see the next person do something at a level that I've never seen before. Michael Jordan could do anything he wanted on the basketball court and no one on the opposing team could do anything to stop him. Babe Ruth could drink a keg of beer, eat a dozen hot dogs and then go out and call his shot over the right field wall. Roger Federer can return a tennis ball traveling 100 mph from in-between his legs. There are other incredible athletes, but they'll never be as truly dominant as the true greats.

These types of people aren't only athletes. I'm sure there are surgeons who can operate better than anyone else who's ever picked up a scalpel. I'm sure there are salesmen who can perform at a level that no other salesmen will ever see. That's because the greats get to set the new standard. The greats elevate their field higher than it's ever been before and that's what makes them great. When I was learning to sell at my first job I was told to watch what good salespeople do and mimick them. The greats excel a different way. They have no one to mimick because no one can perform as highly as they can and they know that.

It's one thing to try to act great, but it's another thing to truly know that you will succeed where others have failed and are able to do things that no one else has ever accomplished before. My desire to feel that way for one moment is why I love sports as much as I do.

Imagine looking at a golf course the way Tiger Woods does and to simply know that you're going to sink a putt. I strive to reach that level of confidence. I have a ton of faith in myself and my abilities, but that feeling of invicibility must be incredible. Watching a select few go through this is what draws my attention. Seeing someone else achieve greatness is what pushes me to be better at what I do. Maybe I'll never be able to experience that feeling, but striving to is what keeps me going.

The Clevelander (No, not the sandwich)

Lots of things to be excited about as a Cleveland sports fan. The Cavaliers currently hold the #2 seed in the East playoffs, the Indians' season is about to start, the Buckeyes made the Final Four, and the Browns are still in town.

As long as Lebron James is wearing #23 for the Cavs, simply clinching a playoff spot should be expected. Unless Kevin McHale takes over as GM, Cleveland fans should enjoy the excitement of the NBA playoffs for years to come. Ever since Larry Hughes took over at the point guard position and Sasha Pavlovic decided to play defense and earn more playing time, this team has been playing like a true contender. However, this team still has room for improvement. They still need to show more consistency. They seem to fall into a rut during games where everyone stands around and waits for someone to shoot a jump shot. This isn't going to get it done against the Pistons, Bulls, or Heat. If the playoffs started today the Cavs would host the Orlando Magic in the first round of the playoffs. Despite having Dwight Howard this team has free fallen over the last few months. If the Cavs allow the Bulls to catch them, they'll drop from the #2 seed all the way to #5. At number 5, they'd lose their home court advantage and (as of today) face the Toronto Raptors. The Cavs would still be favored to win, but Toronto is a better team than Orlando and I'd rather see the games being played at the 'Q' instead of in Canada. With only a game and a half separating the Cavs and Bulls, the end of the season will be exciting. Lebron has already begun picking up his game, hopefully his teammates are able to improve theirs as well.

Next door to the Q the Indians' season is about to get started and the team has some promise this year. The bullpen was a big problem for the team last year and was improved this offseason by picking up Joe Borowski from the Cubs and journeyman Roberto Hernandez. We also get to see Andy Marte and Josh Barfield move into starting roles in the infield for the team and there are high expectations for both. Once Cliff Lee comes back from his injury the starting lineup will be strong with Cliff, C.C. Sabathia, and Jake Westbrook at the top of the rotation. Enjoy C.C. while you still can, his contract with the Tribe is up after 2008 and it'll be very expensive to sign him. He's a young, huge, lefty with a power arm. Those guys usually price themselves out of the Indian's budget when they hit the open market. This is a team that has the talent to battle for a playoff spot in a suddenly very good Central Division. These obviously aren't the same Sox, Twins, and Tigers from the days when the Indians dominated the division year after year.

Another local team with postseason success is the Buckeyes. They'll be facing Georgetown in the Final Four after surviving several excruciatingly close games. Greg Oden will be the centerpiece of a team that has really matured throughout the tournament. He'll be facing Roy Hibbert in one of the best matchups of March so far. Mike Conley, Jr. has been extremely impressive. He was almost an after-thought before the season when he came to Ohio with Oden. Point guard play is extremely important, especially in the tournament. Conley was extremely clutch in the overtime win over Xavier and has only grown from there. He can penetrate, distribute, and shoot the ball like an upper classman. After Oden, Mike Conley will play a huge part if the team is able to beat the Hoyas. I'd personally love to see a rematch with Florida after the embarrassment they laid on OSU at the National Championship game. A win for the NCAA title would be sweet revenge.

That was the good news. Now for the Cleveland Browns. If one of the other Cleveland teams were losing this consistently they'd be almost forgotten. However, this is the Browns. Cleveland lives and dies by this team and right now fans are showing that you can die more than once. First lets go over the holes this team has. Despite bringing Eric Steinbach and Seth McKinney aboard, the offensive line still could use an upgrade. Kellen Winslow just had microfracture surgery which is a very risky operation. The running backs are a past-his-prime Jamal Lewis and a handful of nobodies. Neither Charlie Frye nor Derek Anderson are starting caliber quarterbacks. The defensive line added Shaun Smith and Robaire Smith, but the defensive line is still very weak. The secondary lost Brian Russell and Gary Baxter can't seem to stay healthy. The linebacker core may be the best group on the team with Andra Davis, D'Qwell Jackson, Leon Williams, Kamerion Wimbley, Willie McGinest, and Antwan Peek. This is a huge draft for the Browns. Hopefully they won't be picking in the top 3 again for a long time. There are rumors that they could trade up for Jamarcus Russell or Brady Quinn, or stand pat for Adrian Peterson or Joe Thomas. Whatever they decide to do they'd better make a good decision. This town can't handle anymore miserable high picks like they did in the past. This offseason could either be the turning point or the starting over (again) point for this team.

With all of the excitement over the local teams right now, I almost forgot to mention the biggest event to hit Cleveland in years. The women's NCAA Final Four is in town!! Let's kick out the Cavs for a five game road trip while they're in the middle of a playoff chase so some miserable basketball can be played at Quicken Loans Arena. Does anyone other than the players' families watch these games in person? While accidentally putting one of these games on my t.v. while waiting for Sports Center to come on, I couldn't help but notice that the arenas are basically empty except for a few rows of seats at mid-court on either side. The sides of the arenas behind the hoops are totally empty. Why play these games in an NBA arena when a small high school gym would be perfectly suitable? If Dallas Lauderdale, 3 of my friends, and I can beat the national champion, why would I spend the time to watch?

Washington D.C. Sports Report

Things haven't started off too smoothly for the new ownership group of the Washington Nationals. Ticket sales are slowed down in general, including season ticket sales, and many season ticket holders are complaining about slow deliveries of their ticket packages (some are even concerned they won't get their tickets before opening day). Team President Stan Kasten has said he's determined to have the final season opener at RFK be a sell-out, but it looks like it won't even be close.

It's no secret that RFK sucks and this Nats team sucks even worse. Could anyone outside the D.C. area name five guys on this team? Could anyone in the D.C. area name five guys on this team? It's not an easy sell for these guys, trying to pass off a team rebuilding on a city that has no choice but to feel like a bandwagon fan (these things happen when a team is dumped on you after 35 years without baseball in your city). 2007 has the obvious feel of a placeholder year for the Nats before moving into their new stadium in 2008 and maybe then building a respectable team.

Last night, Sidney Crosby and the Penguins symbolically skated into town and put a fitting epitaph on the '06/'07 season for the Washington Capitals, with a 4-2 win. In the 8th battle between the potential Bird-and-Magic of the NHL, Crosby came up with a memorable behind-the-net goal in the 2nd period, and added an assist to increase his NHL scoring lead. Alex Ovechkin, meanwhile, came up with an early assist but was otherwise held in check, further frustrated by the lackadaisical efforts of his teammates.

There's no question the Penguins are doing a much better job building around Crosby than the Capitals are doing building around Ovechkin. With the win, the Pens clinched their first playoff berth since 2001. Washington, meanwhile, is mired with the second worst record in the Eastern Conference and will miss the playoffs for the third straight season. Similar to Lebron in Cleveland or Johan Santana in Minnesota, fans have to wonder how long Ovechkin will be willing to put up with subpar teammates, subpar coaching and subpar ownership/general management.

By the way, in eight meetings since they both joined the league, Crosby's Penguins have beaten Ovechkin's Capitals seven times. Not quite Magic-and-Bird yet.

After losing four out of the five games on their West Coast swing, the Washington Wizards have now fallen behind the surging Miami Heat in the Southeast standings, and have tumbled from the East's 3-seed to the East's 6-seed. They hope to get things back on track tonight with a home game against the Philadelphia 76ers, as the oft-injured Caron Butler is expected to return from a left knee contusion.

Gilbert Arenas played pretty well on the road trip, all things considered, but his blog on nba.com has been suspiciously quiet ever since his "talking to" from the league for making a $10 bet with a Portland fan during the game. Could it be that an athlete's online blog is being compromised by the very company that employs him and hosts his blog on their website? Who would've thunk it.

Unfortunately for the Wizards, they're only the second most beloved basketball team in town right now, as the Georgetown Hoyas prepare for Saturday's Final 4 match-up with Ohio State. The team, coached by John Thompson's son and featuring Patrick Ewing's son off the bench, has tapped back into the college hoops soul of the nation's capitol, similar to Maryland's Final 4 runs in 2001 and 2002.

One statistic Georgetown has going for them: no Big East team has ever lost a national semifinals game against a non-Big East team. Georgetown is the 13th Big East team to reach the Final 4, and 9 of those 13 teams won their semifinal game against teams from another conference. The only time a Big East team has lost in this round of the tournament is when facing another Big East team (Georgetown beat St. John's in '85 and Syracuse beat Providence in '87).

And finally, the Washington Redskins are looking to add yet another overpaid linebacker to the team, as they continue trade talks with the Chicago Bears for the disgruntled Lance Briggs. If the trade goes through, the Redskins will give up their #6 overall draft pick in exchange for the Bears' #31 overall pick. Keep in mind they've already traded away their 2nd, 3rd and 4th round picks. It's as if Dan Snyder and Joe Gibbs know they only have a couple years left to live and couldn't care less about the franchise's future. There's probably a good joke in there somewhere, but the reality is enough of a joke.

Broken Tackle's Weekend Wrap-up

Georgetown is in the Final 4, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is #1 at the box-office and a Korn MTV Unplugged album is climbing the Billboard charts. What kind of cultural fucking time warp are we stuck in right now?

With that in mind...

1) Billy Donovan is an idiot if he accepts the Kentucky job. This would not be upward mobility, this would be lateral. Yes, his entire starting 5 will be wearing NBA jerseys next year and yes, Gainesville, Florida is a hick town. But why would leave one high-profile job (where they treat you like a god) to start over at an equal but much more stressful and much more scrutinized high-profile job (where they'll treat you like an asshole)?

Why do head coaches do things like this? Is there something inherent in the personality of a head coach that he's always looking ahead to the next job, even if it isn't a better one? They act like the sleazy guy who takes his girlfriend to the bar and checks out every whore in the place, no matter where they stand on the [fugly --> delicious] scale. It doesn't matter if it's better or worse, it just matters if it's different.


2) The story about comedian/actor/race car connoisseur Eddie Griffin is a classic. First of all, the story is accompanied by a photo of Griffin just standing next to the wrecked vehicle with a goofy look on his face, as if this is just a normal happening. No remorse, no shame, just "Oh hey, destroyed a rare Ferrari worth $1.5 million today. Need a snapshot? No problem. Can you get a good look at the wreckage from this angle?"

But even better is the quote from the car's owner, Daniel Sadek.

"I'm glad Eddie came out of the crash OK, but my dream car got destroyed," Sadek said. "I went to my trailer for about 15 minutes and I thought, there's people dying every day. A lot of worse things are happening in the world."

Yeah, dude, I went through the same thing when someone stole my video iPod from the gym a few weeks ago. Somewhere in China, a starving child appreciates your empathy.

Waaaaahhhhh, the black guy from Deuce Bigalow destroyed my Ferrari. Waaaaaaaaahhh!


3) Rasheed Wallace. Not only makes one of the greatest shots I've ever seen in a basketball game. But afterwards, acts like he does it all the time. Jumanji!

Zach Randolph: Livin' the Dream

Zach Randolph is going to grieve the way Zach Randolph wants to grieve.

How do you mourn the lost of a loved one? You don't sit shivah at a strip club? Well that's your thing. That's not Zach Randolph's thing.

Maybe you always pay your tab after leaving the titty bar. But not Zach Randolph. Zach Randolph knows that the club owner will just hold the tab over for the next time he visits. Zach Randolph doesn't need to be bothered with paying his tabs when he's in mourning.

Zach Randolph also throws some great sex show parties.

If you're a mouthy bitch who doesn't enjoy Zach Randolph's sex party, then you never should have shown up to Zach Randolph's sex party in the first place.

When Zach Randolph is putting it in your ass, then you better just relax and take it in your ass.

Nate McMillan understands Zach Randolph's needs.

"He felt he needed to go," said McMillan. "It's a death in the family ... you get a feel for what you need to do."

What you need to do. Fuckin' A, Nate. Fuckin' A.

Zach Randolph. Livin' the dream.

Ouch... my bracket (The mid-major quandary)

The Final 4 is set and it's the first Final 4 since 1993 that doesn't include a 3-seed or lower. This is quite a sharp contrast to last season, where for the first time in the modern 64-team era, not a single 1-seed reached the Final 4; and 11-seed Cinderella George Mason was everybody's sentimental favorite.

A lot of people will argue over the next few days whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, whether this means college basketball is progressing forward or progressing backwards. How about progressing sideways?

People like to think of the advent of the "mid-major" powerhouse as a modern construct. But what's really happened is our perception of what makes a mid-major has changed.

You may have heard the stat that only six mid-majors received at-large bids this year, the lowest amount in a long time. And this is true, but don't forget that the Atlantic-10, Mountain West, WAC and Conference USA conferences are included in these statistics (Conference USA was created in 1995 when two previous mid-majors, the Metro and Great Midwest conferences merged).

Look at some of the mid-majors through the years who have reached the Final 4 long before George Mason: Utah in '98, Massachusetts in '96, Cincinnati in '92, UNLV in '87, '90 and '91 and Memphis in '85. Everyone knows Larry Bird took little Indiana State to the title game against Magic Johnson and Michigan State in '79. But did you realize who else made the Final 4 that year? The Pennsylvania Quakers, probably the final Ivy League team who will ever reach the Final 4.

If you want to go back further, the 60's and 70's were littered with mid-major Final 4 teams: Drake, Jacksonville, UNC Charlotte, New Mexico State, Wichita State and Dayton, to name a few.

The eight-year drought for mid-majors between Utah reaching the Final 4 in '98 and George Mason reaching the Final 4 in '06 was the longest such drought for mid-majors in tournament history.

So what happened to the mid-major?

Well, for starters, TV happened, and it made the tournament a big-time event. The NCAA tournament has become one of the most telegenic sporting events year after year, and this means big money. But this big money isn't going to everyone, as you might suspect. This multi-billion dollar TV contract is divided amongst the schools in a manner that systemically creates a level of institutional monetary discrimination against the smaller schools. For starters, half the revenue goes to conferences based on their performance in previous tournaments. So conferences that perform well year after year, like the ACC or Pac-10 get fatter, while the smaller conferences are stuck in a cycle of lower funding.

The irony of this is that the NCAA tournament on TV exploded thanks to Larry Bird and Indiana State. To this day, the 1979 championship game between Indiana State and Michigan State remains the highest rated college basketball game in TV history. It's no coincidence that the 1980 tournament was the first to feature TV broadcasts of the first two rounds of the tournament.

But can we still perceive Indiana State as a mid-major? A Cinderella? The Celtics were allowed to draft Larry Bird 6th overall in the 1978 draft thanks to a rule back then that teams could draft players before their college eligibility was up (imagine if that rule still existed). Can the public really get behind a team as a Cinderella which featured arguably one of the five greatest players in basketball history (albeit arguably the greatest white player in basketball history)?

There's no question we love our underdogs in this country. Rooting for the underdog is a chance to regrasp our historical remnants of beating the odds. We were George Mason in the Revolutionary War and Indiana State in the War of 1812, but only 200 years later we were Duke in Vietnam and Kentucky in Iraq. Everyone knows Americans have it better than the rest of the world in almost every aspect of life, so we affiliate with our underdogs where we can find them, and sports is the underdog's ultimate milieu. We love our Rockys and we love our Miracles on Ice. We love our Glory Roads and we love our Hoosiers (the fact that Glory Road was an underdog story of all-black players taking on the all-white heavy favorites and 20 years later Hoosiers was a completely racially transmuted exposition is probably a section of our mid-major conscience that deserves its own separate writing).

So look back at those mid-majors who reached the Final 4 between Indiana State and George Mason. Though they all technically count, in the eyes of the American sports fan, they were not true underdogs. UNLV had NBA talent in Larry Johnson and Stacey Augmon, not to mention a shady coach and shady dealings with Las Vegas ne'er-do-wells. Cincinnati in '92 had a galling superstar (Nick Van Exel) and an even more galling head coach (Bob Huggins). UMass in '96 was ranked #1 for much of the season and was led by a future NBA star in Marcus Camby. Utah in '98 might have been the closest we've had in this bunch to a Cinderella (and it's probably not a coincidence they were the "whitest" team out of all of them). Most of these teams in retrospect feel less like underdogs and more like big fishes in little ponds, technical mid-majors that were really just waiting for a BCS conference to come along and snatch them away (it actually happened with Cincinnati joining the Big East in 2005).

Turns out we love underdogs, but only up to a point. The NCAA tournament exists as an unique construct, truly the only major sporting event where the so-called little guys get to take their best direct shot at the big boys. But once one of those little guys breaks through and makes it happen, we only want more, and we want it on a bigger and grander scale.

After Indiana State glued everyone to their television sets, the real modern era of the NCAA tournament began. So we sat, and we waited for another mid-major to break through to the Final 4. We saw 14 seeds inexplicably reach the Sweet 16 (Cleveland State in '86 and Chattanooga in '97) and we clamored for more, we clamored for great things. We watched 15 seeds pull off stunning first round upsets and we asked for even bigger and better things.

In the late 90's, thanks to high school players taking an increasing interest in skipping college ball to jump straight to the pros, mid-majors busted back through the gates by reaching the Elite 8. First it was Gonzaga in '99, then Tulsa in '00 and Kent State in '02. Once could say these teams paved the way for George Mason finally breaking through in '06.

And then what were we left with? The final frontiers for mid-major basketball in the tournament were a mid-major in the Final 4 and a 16-seed upsetting a 1-seed. We've now seen one and not quite yet the other. So how are we supposed to be interested in the Winthrops or VCUs of the world reaching only the 2nd round?

Mid-major success in the NCAA tournament is not a modern construct. Similar to teen pregnancy or drug use, it's something that's always been there, and if anything it's on the decline, only now our concept of it has changed. Our perception is different. Some people will always call things an "epidemic" for better or worse. But an epidemic is only created in how you perceive it.

We love our underdogs. We need our underdogs. Next year, we'll probably have another underdog make a run, because college basketball, like anything else in life, is cyclical. And we'll all act surprised because we want to act surprised.

The culture of sports fans is a nation of suckers, in the true P.T. Barnum sense of the word, and when our underdogs no longer satisfy us we will create new ones. And if the new ones come up short we'll construct different ones in our own inspired image.

There is no progressing forward or backwards in this formula. Only different variations of sideways.

Tubby Smith and Duality of Coaching

Sometimes things just make sense because they make sense.

Listening to the reactions from both sides over Tubby Smith bolting Kentucky for the head coaching job at Minnesota (and I think we all agree he left Kentucky before they had a chance to shit-can him), it's left me with a lingering thought.

Can someone exist as a good coach and a bad coach at the same time?

I'm not talking about some kind of Jungian schizophrenic type of deal.

But maybe duality is a matter of perception. Tubby Smith coached Kentucky to the national title in his first year on the job, 1998, using players previously recruited and coached by Rick Pitino. Their finishes since then: Elite 8, 2nd Round, Sweet 16, Sweet 16, Elite 8, 2nd Round, Elite 8, 2nd Round, 2nd Round. Pitino, in contrast, took over a team with a bare cupboard (they suffered a nine-year drought from the Final 4 before Pitino brought them back in '93, this year marked their second nine-year drought in school history) and within three seasons he had them one miracle Christian Laettner shot away from the Final 4. They would then reach the Final 4 three times in Pitino's final six years as coach, including a national title in '96.

The knock on Smith wasn't his recruiting skills (though, in comparison to Pitino, anyone's recruiting skills probably seem inadequate), but his in-game coaching skills. Pitino is revered as the only coach in NCAA history to take three different schools to the Final 4. Look at his mid-90's Kentucky teams, revered by many as one of the great college teams of the modern era, and you see only one NBA all-star in the mix, Antoine Walker.

So why is Pitino universally mocked by Celtics and Knicks fans while Tubby Smith is still beloved by Tulsa and Georgia fans (two programs that haven't been the same since he left) and has Minnesota fans salivating over their future?

Again, sometimes it's a matter of perception. Sometimes it just makes sense because it just makes sense. The man Rick Pitino replaced at Kentucky was the legendary coach (and legendary alcoholic) Eddie Sutton. Sutton was an utter disastrous failure at Kentucky; he was the only coach never to lead the team to the Final 4 in his tenure, and he vacated the position after damaging the school's reputation with recruiting scandals. Before Sutton was Joe B. Hall, a long-time assistant of Adolph Rupp, who led the Wildcats to the '78 title. Rupp coached the team for four decades, winning four national titles and is best remembered for refusing to recruit black players, only to have his all-white team upstaged by an all-black Texas Western team in the '66 title game. I listened to a recent interview with Billy Packer, where he mentioned the '78 Kentucky team was "the least excited" of any national title team he ever covered.

Think that one through. Billy Packer is claiming your team was not having enough fun, and was not excited enough.

The point being? Kentucky basketball is a tough sell.

Tubby Smith will probably take the Minnesota basketball team back to the NCAA tournament within the next two years. This might not seem like a big deal, but the Gophers have made just two tournament appearances in the decade since Smith took over the Kentucky job. Their fans would kill for a chance to have an "off-year" similar to the typical Kentucky "off-year."

Chances are, Tubby Smith will get too much credit for bringing Minnesota back to prominence. The truth is, Smith is not a solid in-game coach and he often got out-maneuvered by SEC rivals such as Billy Donovan, Bruce Pearl and Kevin Stallings.

Chances are, Tubby Smith won't get enough credit for what he did at Kentucky. The truth is, in modern college basketball, consistent excellence is very difficult for even the most prestigious of programs. Just look at the struggles this year of Duke, Arizona, UConn, Michigan State and Utah.

Somehow, both of those assumptions seem relatively commonsensical and such is the duality of coaching. Existing simultaneously as a good coach and bad coach is a product of environment and it's a product of perception. Smith exists as good and bad because he exists only through a prism of who is interpreting him. There are very few coaches in basketball, be it pro or college, that everyone can agree on is a good or bad coach. Some claim Phil Jackson is a genius, some claim he's the most overrated coach in sports. Some claim Mike Krzyzewski is a terrific leader and floor general, others point to his complete lack of in-game adjustments.

And usually that kind of thing makes sense because it just makes sense.

This Week in Douchebaggery: Coast-to-Coast

SACRAMENTO -- Ron Artest will be arraigned on Thursday, meaning he'll plead Guilty or Not Guilty to charges of beating the shit out of his wife. Perhaps this distracted him last night as the Kings blew a 7-point 4th Quarter lead and lost at home to the Timberwolves, but he has been playing better since the incident. This is the fifth time now that police have been called out to his Sacramento home due to a "spousal dispute" (who knows how many teams a "spousal dispute" didn't lead to a 9-1-1 call), not to mention the Sacramento police taking away Ron Artest's dog due to negligence.

When asked how he's handling the situation at home, Artest responded "Once the schedule clears up, I'll be able to do things." The "schedule" he's referring to is the Sacramento Kings, battling to make up ground on the Clippers and Warriors for the final playoff spot in the West (or, in other words, they're 3 games back from the opportunity to get swept by the Mavericks).

So what do we know about Ron Artest? He beats his wife. He hates dogs. He's willing to take time off from his professional career to work on producing a rap album, but he's not willing to take time off to try and piece together the shattered remnants of his broken family.

Ron Artest, King of the Douchebags.


TUCSON -- Kerry Wood and Mark Prior will start the season on the DL again. Yes, I know, sorry if you spit out your coffee reading that tidbit.

When was the last time both these guys were healthy? Let's play a little game, was it before or after?:

1) The Red Sox and/or White Sox ended their drought
2) We invaded Iraq the first time
3) We invaded Iraq the second time
4) Tinker, Evers and Chance were the Cubs infield
5) Lincoln was shot
6) Dinosaurs roamed the Earth (trick question if you're Carl Everett)

Cubs fans and management will be in denial, saying that Prior and Wood are merely luxuries at this point on a talented team. But it's time they let go of these douchebags and move on with life.


WEST PALM BEACH -- Tony LaRussa might be a genius at utilizing the double-switch, but he's a moron when it comes to driving buzzed.

LaRussa fell asleep at a stoplight in his SUV, leaving the vehicle in drive, but luckily falling asleep with his foot on the brake. When the cops questioned him, he blew a 0.093 on the breathalizer. 0.093? What a pussy. What is that, like a six-pack of Zima? I know guys who can drink five times that and still be coherent enough to drive home safe and sound. Hell, Billy Martin led the Yankees to the '77 pennant with an average BAC of 0.25 at any point during the season.

Regardless, it's always good to see a self-aggrandizing douchebag like Tony LaRussa get into trouble.

In a related story, Khalif Barnes thinks the KKK slipped something in LaRussa's drink.

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: North Carolina vs. Southern Cal

(1) North Carolina -8 vs. (5) Southern Cal (O/U: 149.5)

The final game of the Sweet 16 round features some of the most exciting young talent in the country, as Ty Lawson, Brandan Wright and North Carolina take on Taj Gibson, Nick Young and USC.

Tyler Hansbrough played out of his mind against Michigan State, single-handedly fending off the Spartans at times, and looking much more comfortable without his schnozaroo mask on. But anyone who's followed the Tar Heels the last couple years know Hansbrough can be very streaky and UNC very well might need their other talented youngsters to take this game over. Hansbrough might have his hands full on both ends of the court with USC freshman big man Taj Gibson.

USC had a very interesting year, it started in tragedy with the shooting death of standout Ryan Francis, continued with the surprising and possibly shady recruiting of O.J. Mayo, and the Trojans had one of their best seasons in a long time under Tim Floyd, who is probably just happy to no longer be known primarily as "The Guy stuck with the Bulls after Jordan and Pippen left town" (similar to fellow Trojan faculty member Pete Carroll, happy to shed his image as "The Guy who almost ran the Patriots into the ground between Parcells and Belichick").

The Trojans play some stout defense, similar to their Bruin counterparts in Westwood. They can, however, suffer an occasional lapse, as they did in the Pac-10 title game vs. Oregon. North Carolina isn't nearly as tough on the defensive end, but they'll pressure you and pressure you well with Roy Williams bringing in wave-after-wave of subs to wear down the opposition. They're also an excellent rebounding team, something USC might struggle with.

Battle of the Mascots: Trojans are totally hot right now, with the success of 300. Tar Heels refers simply to inhabitants of the state North Carolina. So, a bunch of ancient warriors with a big wooden horse or a bunch of hillbillies with bare feet and their pet rams. Surprisingly closer than you'd think. Edge: Even

Battle of the Famous Alumni: UNC can claim Peter Gammons, Andy Griffith, Lewis Black, Julius Peppers, Dan "MTV Sports" Cortese and old what's-his-name, the guy who's GM of the Bobcats now. USC has all the typical athletes (Marcus Allen, Reggie Bush, Ronnie Lott), actors (Will Ferrell, Forest Whitaker, Tom Selleck), directors (George Lucas, John Carpenter, Ron Howard), hot chicks that Matt Leinart has probably nailed (Kelly Preston, Lisa Ling, Sophia Bush) and murderers (O.J. Simpson) you'd expect. Also, Neil Armstrong. Dude went to the fuckin' moon. Edge: USC

The play to make: A lot will depend on whether UNC can use their pressure defense to rattle USC and force them into some turnovers. Because if USC can hang around and keep this game close, their defensive prowess will be a serious advantage late in the game, when the Tar Heels might struggle to get stops in the half-court. The 8 points seems like a lot, but if you expect UNC to win, you're expecting them to probably cover the number and vice versa... if you expect USC to cover, you're probably expecting them to win. Play: USC +8 (medium confidence); Under 149.5 (low confidence)

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: Oregon vs. UNLV

(3) Oregon -2.5 vs. (7) UNLV (O/U: 140)

No matter who wins, this one should be good. How could you not like a team from Oregon with a pissed-off Donald Duck as their mascot, arguably the ugliest uniforms in the history of mankind, a coach named Ernie and a PG named Aaron Brooks who's actually clutch under pressure and doesn't throw the ball the opposite length of the court. And they're trying to become the first school from Oregon to reach the Final 4 since the Oregon State Beavers in 1963 (I didn't even realize we had discovered Oregon by then. Did everyone on the team have cholera and dysentery or drown trying to "ford" the river to the Final 4?).

Or how could you not enjoy a team from Las Vegas nicknamed the Runnin' Rebels (seriously, has there ever been a bigger "fuck you" to the NCAA than putting a school in Las Vegas and nicknaming it the Rebels?). They're led by one guard named "Wink" and the other guard, Kevin Kruger, son of their legendary head coach Lon Kruger and delivering a serious blow to nepotism everywhere with every big game he's put up for the team. After being shunned by the selection committee (most "bracketologists" had them projected in the 4-to-6 seed range); they took down everyone's least favorite favorite, the boring-as-white-bread Wisconsin to reach the Sweet 16. They're looking for the school's first Final 4 trip since 1991, the heyday of Larry "The Original LJ" Johnson, Stacey Augmon, Jerry Tarkanian and the famous picture of several UNLV players sitting in a hot tub with Richie "The Fixer" Perry (here's a clue as to what Perry did for a living: he didn't "fix" toilets).

Battle of the Mascots: Ol' Reb looks like he's a badass, even when he's participating in activities Tim Hardaway wouldn't approve of. But we have great appreciation for a duck that's wearing a shirt and no pants. Edge: Oregon

Battle of the Famous Alumni: Even the alumni for both these schools are pretty cool. UNLV probably wins in the athlete department (Larry Johnson, Shawn Marion, Ickey Woods and Randall Cunningham... though Oregon does have some football legends (Gary Zimmerman, Dan Fouts and Norm Van Brocklin). The Rebels can also claim Jimmy Kimmel, Suge Knight, Kenny Mayne, one Maloof brother and the drummer for the Killers. Most people know Phil Knight, founder of Nike, attended Oregon. But how are you gonna sleep on the guy who wrote One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Ken Kesey) and the guy who wrote Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk). You're not, that's how. Edge: Oregon

The play to make: Oregon hasn't really been challenged, so to speak, in the first two rounds. They had a tough game against Miami (OH) but the outcome was never really in doubt, and they followed it with a cake-walk against Winthrop (this is following double-digit Pac-10 tournament wins over Arizona, Cal and USC) . UNLV, meanwhile, had tough match-ups with Georgia Tech and Wisconsin come down to the final minute (following a tough MWC title win over BYU). Neither team has lost since February 22nd, so something has to give here. UNLV matches up pretty well here, they can run a little bit with Oregon if need be, but would prefer to draw them into a half-court game and limit possessions. Miami and Winthrop did show at times that Oregon can be suckered into playing outside their comfort zone. Play: UNLV +2.5 (medium confidence); Under 140 (medium confidence)

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: Georgetown vs. Vanderbilt

(2) Georgetown -7.5 vs. (6) Vanderbilt (O/U: 131)

The Big East champs continue their quest for their first Final 4 trip in 22 years. The Commodores meanwhile, are looking for only their second Elite 8 trip in school history (the first coming in 1965).

These teams met on Vandy's home floor on November 15th, with Georgetown cruising to an 86-70 victory. A lot has changed since then, obviously. Senior PF Derrick Byers is the reigning SEC Player of the Year, and with good reason. The do-it-all transfer from Virginia has led this team on both ends of the court, and came up huge in the 2nd Half come-from-behind victory over Washington State. But the key for Vanderbilt is their outside shooting, if the shots aren't falling they're not a strong enough defensive team to keep themselves hanging in the game. They don't want too much pressure on Byers to carry the entire offense.

Georgetown was a vogue Final 4 pick heading into the tournament and with good reason. Their back-court really came together late in the year, and that's when the team gelled. The match-ups of the guards will be interesting in this game. One major advantage Vanderbilt had over Washington State was the size of their guards disrupting the Cougars' outside shooting. Georgetown is not a team that relies heavily on the outside shot, but they do have two guards who will be undersized in this game. The Jeff Green-Derrick Byers match-up could be a classic. Two players who didn't get quite as much attention but are styled in the Kevin Durant mode, oversized wing players who can do all the big things and little things to help their team win.

Battle of the Mascots: Though their mascot is a goofy looking bulldog, a Hoya is defined as a tropical plant. We're assuming Commodores is referring the naval rank, but in our fantasies Vanderbilt University named itself after the seminal Lionel Richie-fronted 70's soul band famous from bringing us "Brick House." Edge: Vanderbilt

Battle of the Famous Alumni: Unfortunately though, Lionel Richie did not attend Vanderbilt. They can, however, claim Al Gore, David Brinkley, Amy Grant and the legendary Will Perdue (maybe the worst player in NBA history with 4 championship rings). Party. Georgetown has Dikembe Mutumbo, Bill Clinton and... fuck, does it even really matter? Dikembe Mutumbo and Bill Clinton! Edge: Georgetown

The play to make: Vanderbilt already toppled one well-coached well-balanced team in the 2nd Round, can they make it rain again? Most likely not, but laying more than two possessions in a game that could go either way is a terrible idea. The defense will tighten up in the 1st Half, but I expect both teams to open it up in the 2nd. Play: Vanderbilt +7.5 (low confidence); Under 131 (low confidence)

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: Florida vs. Butler

(1) Florida -10.5 vs. (5) Butler (O/U: 125)

Joakim Noah and the Gators roll into the Sweet 16, coming off a tougher-than-expected victory over Purdue. Butler got here a little more easily than expected, steam-rolling Old Dominion and then shutting down Maryland.

Butler's offense is highly predicated on its star guard, A.J. Graves. The small town boy from Switz City, Indiana is enjoying his 15 minutes right now, and will have to come up huge for the Bulldogs to have any chance against Florida. Even though the Gators have been showing a propensity lately to play down to their opponents, Butler is still going to need big games from Graves and his back-court mate Mike Green on the offensive end. They can't expect to keep the pressure on Florida on the defensive end the way SIU did against Kansas. There will be stretches where the Bulldogs have to just match Florida basket-for-basket to keep themselves afloat in this one.

As for Florida, it's no secret these guys are probably the best collection of talent and experience in the field this year. Billy Donovan probably remembers the last time the Gators met with the Bulldogs, it was the 1st Round of the 2000 tournament, and Florida needed a Mike Miller runner at the buzzer in overtime to bail them out of the 12-vs.-5 upset. The Gators went all the way to the Final 4 that year, only the second trip in school history. Butler, meanwhile, propelled themselves to become one of the leading mid-major programs in the country. And so they meet again, this time Butler is the 5 seed, Florida a 1 seed, likely on their way back to the Final 4 with the victory here and another historic quest for the school's program.

Battle of the Mascots: Come on, now.

Battle of the Famous Alumni: Butler has a legendary author (Kurt Vonnegut), a legendary porn star (Hyapatia Lee) and a legendary cult leader (Jim Jones). Florida has Faye Dunaway, Emmitt Smith and Bob Vila. And, oh yeah, Jesse "The Bachelor" Palmer and Rex "Sex Cannon" Grossman. Also, Erin Andrews was a member of the dance team... but Jesse Palmer probably soiled her in college, so f that. Edge: Butler

The play to make: This is a tough one, because Butler doesn't have the defensive prowess that allowed SIU to hang with Kansas. The Bulldogs do typically play in low scoring games, but that's more of a credit to their ability to set a slow tempo with their offense, though their pressure defense is nothing to sneeze at. Florida had a tough time with a Purdue team that plays a similar style, but you get the feeling the Gators can pick their final score in this one. Still, 10.5 is a lot of points to ask for in what could be a very low scoring game. Play: Butler +10.5 (low confidence); Over 125 (low confidence)

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: Ohio State vs. Tennessee

(1) Ohio State -4.5 vs. (5) Tennessee (O/U: 144.5)

After escaping against Xavier in Round 2, things don't get easier for TOBTTR (The only Big-10 team remaining). The Buckeyes face Tennessee in the 2nd Round and the Vols are hot. Tennessee has won 9 of its last 11 games, including big wins over Florida, Arkansas and Kentucky; and a tough 2nd-round victory over Virginia. Of course, Ohio State is hotter, winners of 19 straight, a winning streak that started on January 13th with a victory over, who else, the Tennessee Volunteers.

TOSU needed a big game from their guards to bail them out against Xavier and they got it, as Mike Conley took over down the stretch and in overtime to lead them to victory. But the game might have exposed Ohio State's greatest weakness, that Greg Oden can be somewhat neutralized if you open up the offense, spread the floor and run up-and-down the court.

This could play right into Tennessee's hands. The Vols love to play in transition, getting open 3 pointers and cuts to the basket. Look for them to utilize a lot of dribble penetration when they're forced into a half-court set to try and lure Greg Oden into foul trouble. Wayne Chism had a great game against Virginia, but won't be able to hold his own against Oden. However, Tennessee can attempt to draw Oden away from the rim by getting the ball to Chism early for a couple of his patented short jumpers.

Ohio State usually can adapt to their opponents and beat them at any pace. They might pull out a match-up zone in this one to try to cut off Tennessee's penetration lanes and keep Oden out of foul trouble. This is a very young Buckeyes team, and now that we've reached the big stage, they'll need solid coaching to keep them going. Can Thad Matta provide that? It's debatable.

Battle of the Mascots: This has to be the wussiest mascot battle of the 3rd Round. A droopy-eared hound vs. a giant fuckin' buckeye. I guess the dog would eat the buckeye and that would be that, huh? Edge: Tennessee

Battle of the Famous Alumni: Tennessee has its fair share of famous athletes (Peyton Manning, Reggie White, Justin Gatlin, Todd Helton). Also famous country singer Deanna Carter. Ohio State also has a laundry list of great athletes (Jerry Lucas, Jesse Owens, Cris Carter and Jack Nicklaus). And famous country singer Dwight Yoakam. So who would win in a fight, Deanna Carter or Dwight Yoakam? Your answer to that probably says a lot about you as a person. Edge: Ohio State

The play to make: It's hard to imagine Ohio State going down this early in the tournament, but they have had the closest call of any 1 seed thus far. The truth is, Tennessee is a dangerous match-up for the Buckeyes, this Vols team outgun Ohio State and Chris Lofton is playing like a man on a mission right now. If you're going to play Tennessee, definitely consider their money line as well. Play: Tennessee +4.5 (high confidence); Under 144.5 (low confidence)

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: UCLA vs. Pittsburgh

(2) UCLA -3 vs. (3) Pittsburgh (O/U: 123)

Rarely do you get to see a college basketball game where one team is so much stronger than the other on the perimeter, while one is so much stronger than the other on the interior. Such is UCLA vs. Pitt, a game which could end up as a serious battle of attrition.

Pittsburgh is not the hard-nosed defensive team we typically think of when we think of the Panthers. This team can play tough on defense, but they can also score in bunches. They wore down an undersized VCU team early with some terrific post play from Levon Kirkland and Aaron Gray. But late in the game, the Pittsburgh guards wore down and VCU took advantage before Ronald Ramon surprisingly took the game over in overtime.

UCLA has struggled at times this year against teams with tough interior presences. This was on display in the regular season during losses to Stanford, Washington and West Virginia. But Pittsburgh also struggled mightily against teams with quick and deep back-courts, such as Louisville, Georgetown and Marquette.

So which side gives? Aaron Afflalo struggled for most of the game against Indiana, but came up huge in the clutch when the Bruins needed him. He and Darren Collison are arguably the best guard duo left in the tournament.

Battle of the Mascots: UCLA's Joe Bruin can sometimes look pretty tame, and can sometimes look pretty ferocious. Pitt's Panther looks like the sneaky type, but we can't forgive for having this perfect opportunity to viciously maul Mike Greenberg and not taking advantage of it. Plus, looking back at that first picture, you'd imagine Joe Bruin just shows his tame side to roll in the bitches. Edge: UCLA

Battle of Famous Alumni: UCLA has a pretty substantial list here, including Francis Ford Coppola, James Dean, Jack Black, Tim Robbins, the chick who played Winnie on the Wonder Years, a Hall-of-Famer in almost any sport you can imagine (Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Jackie Robinson, Arthur Ashe, Troy Aikman, Jackie Joyner Kersee and Rafer Johnson to name a few) and of course everyone's favorite drop-out, Jim Morrison. Pittsburgh has a pretty extensive list of football players and coaches (Dan Marino, Jimmy Johnson, Curtis Martin, Mike Ditka). But they also have Orrin Hatch. Fuck him. Edge: UCLA

The play to make: UCLA is the better team here, they play better defense, they're the better coached team, they're the more explosive offensive team, they're the better perimeter team, they're the more experienced team, they have the location advantage playing in California and most people expect them to win. And they're laying only 3 points. In other words, buyer beware all around. Play: UCLA -3 (low confidence); Over 123 (low confidence)

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: Memphis vs. Texas A&M

(2) Memphis +3 vs. (3) Texas A&M (O/U: 134.5)

The Memphis Tigers had quite a season under the radar in '06/'07. They went undefeated and untied through the weak Conference USA. They haven't lost since 2006, taking home a victory in their last 24 games in a row by an average of 19 points per game victory margin. The problem is, only 5 of their 33 regular season battles were waged against an honest-to-god tournament team (wins against Kentucky and Gonzaga, losses to Georgia Tech, Arizona and Tennessee).

A lot of pundits (yours truly included) expected the Tigers to flame out early in this tournament, but they're still standing in the 3rd Round, which is a testament to their tough defense and their unmatched athleticism. One the downside, this is a young team prone to inexperienced mistakes down the stretch and absolutely abysmal free throw shooting (62% in regular season).

The intrigue of this game might be Memphis' PG situation. They start freshman Willie Kemp because they like his speed and his outside shooting. But he typically steps out of the game late anyway, because he's maybe the worst FT shooting PG in NCAA history. Andre Allen is only 5-11, but he's an incredible man-to-man defender and may be getting more playing time in this game to try and neutralize Acie Law. Unfortunately, Allen is less of an offensive threat and almost just as god-awful as a FT shooter.

Memphis has some strength inside, but a lack of size, but the Aggies probably won't take advantage of that. This Memphis is very similar to the Louisville team that A&M defeated in Round 2. They did it by getting the Cardinals' big men in foul trouble early and then letting their guards wear down the help defense with dribble penetration. Expect more of the same here from Law and Dominique Kirk. It'll be interesting to see if A&M gets their center, Antanas Kavaliaskus more involved, he was a virtual no-show vs. Louisville.

Battle of the Mascots: So, what is an aggie? It's a type of marble, you know those little things kids played with like 50 years ago? We could see some type of scenario where the marbles are spread out across the ground and the tiger comically stumbles over them. But in the end, he's still a tiger. Edge: Memphis

Battle of Famous Alumni: A&M's list includes Lyle Lovett, Rip Torn, Chuck Knoblauch and a whole bunch of Miss USA, Miss Texas USA and Miss Teen USA winners. Memphis doesn't have much, but they do have Isaac Bruce, Penny Hardaway and the legendary Wink Martindale. Edge: A&M

What's the play to make: It's no surprise the public is willing to lay some points with the lower seed in this situation. Memphis has long been considered the most overrated of all the top seeds (even though they made it longer than Wisconsin), and A&M was a sleeper Final 4 pick for a lot of people. The fact is, Memphis matches up pretty well with Texas A&M, so this should be a close game. Rule of thumb is take the points in that situation, but it's also hard to pick against the Aggies. They seem like a team on a mission right now and they know if they can get past the Tigers, they match up incredibly well against Ohio State (or Tennessee if needed). I'm not expecting a lot of points in this game at all, look for something in the 65-62 final score range. Play: Texas A&M -3 (low confidence); Under 134.5 (medium confidence)

Greg Oden's "Unintentional Foul"

The only coverage I've heard of Ohio State's comeback win over Xavier in round 2 of the NCAA tournament was that Greg Oden's foul near the end of regulation should have been called intentional and sealed the game for Xavier. This idea is absurd.

First of all no one seems to mention how Oden was fouled while trying to make that rebound. Apparently holding a player's arms back while the ball is up for grabs is ok now. However, the referees did their jobs and swallowed their whistles at the end of the game in order to let the plaers decide the outcome. Exactly what they should have done.

However, the most disturbing thing about the media's reaction to the play is their hypocrisy. Typically, the general consensus is that the players should decide the end of games, not the officials. Well isn't that exactly what happened? Oden had to foul Cage in order for the clock to stop and to bank their entire season on a missed free throw and a clutch three pointer to tie. He bumps into the guy to ensure a foul, Cage leaps out of bounds and that should be the deciding play of the game? If the ref calls and intentional foul and claims Xavier the winner after that play we never would have seen Cage miss the 2nd free throw and never would have seen Ron Lewis' incredible 3 pointer to tie the game and send it overtime where it was decided exactly where it should have been, by the players on the court. Whether or not a foul should be deemed intentional is a judgement call. In this particular instance, that's like eliminating the score of a game and having a judge decide at the end who won.

Why are sports analysts calling for this? Is it because they need something to fill all of the time they've alloted for Around the Horn, Pardon the Interruption and Sportscenter; 2 straight hours of people taking about the exact same stories? I understand it must be hard to pick sports stories to talk about in order to fill a day, but it seems like stories are being created rather than reported. Ohio State-Xavier was a phenomenal game. Xavier played an incredible game and almost had the Buckeyes dead and buried. Ohio State's ensuing comeback and clutch shooting made for one of, if not the best game of the 1st 2 rounds. Why not talk about the game rather than an appropriate "non-call"? If refs are deciding the outcomes of games, fans will lose interest quick. Then what will all these talking-heads do for a living? Be careful what you wish for.

Latvia, Estonia and Cyprus Embrace Gambling

The European Union is demanding that Finland, Hungary and Denmark lift laws against sports gambling in their country.

What is the European Union? It's a bunch of European countries who feel like their power in the world is slipping, what with all the colonies growing up on their own now and all, so they've consolidated into one union that makes Europe as a whole feel like it matters at all in a world now dominated by the United States, China and crazy people with oil.

There's 27 nations in the European Union. Those countries include France, Great Britain and Germany, but they also include such mainstays and world power players as Latvia, Estonia and Cyprus.

This was their reasoning behind putting the screws to Finland, Hungary and Denmark:

"The countries could not claim they were trying to protect consumers from gambling if, at the same time, they incite and encourage people to use state lotteries and other gambling operators that pay the proceeds to the government."

So, great. The United States is now officially dumber than Latvia, Estonia and Cyprus.

For anyone who doesn't know, our illustrious U.S. Congress last year passed the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act, which set in place a set of laws intended to curb online sports gambling in this country (as well as poker playing). Essentially, in an effort to increase "family values" and further protect us from ourselves, it's no longer o.k. for consenting adults to place wagers on sporting events, but it's still perfectly o.k. in participate in government-sponsored gambling such as the lottery.

The only politician who has had any balls at all is Barney Frank, who is trying to put together a bill that will appeal the decision. So if Latvia, Estonia, Cyprus and the gay, Jewish congressmen get it, why doesn't everybody else?

Sweet 16 Preview Bonanza: Kansas vs. Southern Illinois

(1) Kansas -8.5 vs. (4) Southern Illinois (O/U: 125.5)

It's put up or shut up time for the young Jayhawks. After rolling past Niagara and Kentucky, Kansas faces their toughest test of the tournament in Southern Illinois (arguably their toughest test since losing to Texas A&M on February 3rd). The Jayhawks now own a 13-game winning streak, the 3rd longest in the country behind Ohio State (19) and Memphis (24).

These are two surprisingly similar teams. Both like to dictate pace with tight man-to-man defense and quality rebounding. Both have solid dribble penetration and outside shooting, but their offense can go cold if the jumpers aren't falling.

A few things have to go right for the Salukis to win this thing. They have to neutralize Kansas' transition offense and force them into jump shots in the half-court offense. Randal Falker has to play above his size (as he usually does) and match up with Julian Wright. Matt Shaw has to stretch the defense and keep Sasha Kaun away from the boards. And Jamal Tatum has to shoot lights-out while expending energy on the defensive end.

Battle of the Mascots: Jayhawks have the ability to fly but otherwise they seem like pacifists. Salukis are dopey looking dogs, but they are hunting dogs and they hunt by sight, so the unsightly blue bird shouldn't be difficult to track down. Edge: SIU

Battle of Famous Alumni: Bob Dole, Kirstie Alley, Paul Rudd and Wilt Chamberlain for Kansas. For Southern Illinois, it's Jim Belushi, Walt Frazier, Jenny McCarthy and the guy who played Shaft. But remember... Jim is the lame Belushi. Edge: Kansas

What's the play to make: This is a tough one to call. Normally, you shouldn't be backing an underdog unless you think they have a chance to win the game. It's been a rough tournament for underdogs... after covering in a remarkably low 7 out of 32 1st Round games, underdogs had a good run on Saturday, going 6-2 ATS, only to falter again on Sunday, going 3-5 ATS. So overall, underdogs are only 16-32 ATS so far this tournament (8-40 straight up). This is far-and-away the toughest team Southern Illinois has played this year, even though SIU is arguably the toughest defensive team Kansas has faced all year. The natural inclination in this game is to take the points, expecting a tough defensive battle. Even though I don't expect SIU to win, it's hard to argue against that play. The total seems like it's set low, and the public is biting, so the Under is a decent play. Play: Southern Illinois +8.5 (low confidence); Under 125.5 (medium confidence)

Gus Johnson and James Brown

CBS is replacing Gus Johnson with James Brown as an announcer for the remainder of the NCAA tournament. This is troubling.

First of all, Gus Johnson's "full time" job is radio announcer for the Knicks, so the guy's life is difficult enough as is, why do we have to send him back to it so soon?

But more importantly, Gus Johnson is tits. Gus Johnson makes any NCAA tournament game about 325% more exciting than it already was. Allow me to be the 3,000th person in the last week to joke about how sweet it would be if Gus Johnson announced your daily life at work:

"He takes a sip of coffee.... from his thermossssss... and the dream is alive! The data has been analyzed! The mouse pad still fits! Woooowwwwwww!"

I don't necessarily hate James Brown. I don't like him either. That's the problem with James Brown. He's like the color gray or Snapple lemon iced tea or the third Lethal Weapon movie. It's hard to really have an opinion on him, he's just sort of there.

Even his name is dull. James Brown the late funk legend? Oh, sorry, you mean James Brown the guy who pretends to laugh at Boomer Esiason's jokes and once hosted America's Funniest Home Videos.

Joey Porter Fight Club

So, Joey Porter beat the crap out of Levi Jones at a blackjack table at the Palms.

Two lingering questions:

1) Levi Jones plays for the Bengals. You're telling me when the cops showed up, they didn't just arrest Jones out of habit? I mean, when you have two black men in the room, you make it hard enough for the cops to instantly decide who's guilty, but you had to involve a Cincinnati Bengal as well? I'm surprised Jones didn't get tasered within the first 30 seconds of his statement to Vegas police.

2) What were they arguing about? Maybe Levi Jones hit on a 14 when the dealer was showing a 6? Is Jones the type of guy who splits 10's? Did Jones make a joke about the painting of dogs playing poker with a miniature horse as the dealer? These all seem realistic, but I tend to believe they were arguing over their favorite Air Supply album. Porter strikes me as the kind of guy who will defend the studioized glamor of the Lost in Love album, while Jones is more interested in the thoughtful later work of News From Nowhere.

These are the types of disagreements amongst adults that tend to come to blows.

Broken Tackle's 2007 NFL Mock Draft

1. Oakland Raiders - QB Jamarcus Russell - LSU
Russell seems to be the consensus number 1 overall pick and with good reason. He's enormous, has a cannon for a right arm, can evade the rush, and has great accuracy. However, with Al Davis still making the decisions in Oakland he very well may draft a toaster. This is the same guy that passed up Matt Leinart for a safety just last year.

2. Detroit Lions - QB Brady Quinn - Notre Dame
Speaking of clueless GMs. The reports are that the Lions want to stay with Jon Kitna as their starting QB. That makes sense, blow 3 consecutive drafts on WRs and then stick with Kitna to get them the ball. However, they did pass up Leinart last year for an undersized OLB. Quinn was thought to be the #1 QB coming into the '06 season and really didn't do anything to change that except play on an overrated team.

3. Cleveland Browns - RB Adrian Peterson - Oklahoma
After finishing 2nd in the Heisman race as a freshman, Peterson's stock has dropped in some people's minds because of a few injuries. If the doctors clear him medically, Peterson should be a top pick. The Browns signed Jamal Lewis to a one year contract (probably so he won't run all over them for a change), so bringing in Peterson still makes perfect sense.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - WR Calvin Johnson - Georgia Tech
I don't even think the sky is the limit for this guy. He's got incredible hands, he's 6'5 240lbs., runs a 4.4 40, blocks in the run game, and constantly beat double and triple teams in college. John Gruden has always been an offensive minded coach and this is the perfect opportunity to get him a real threat in the passing game.

5. Arizona Cardinals - LT Joe Thomas - Wisconsin
As good as this looks on paper for the Cardinals, it is the Cardinals we're talking about. They got a top notch QB in Matt Leinart last year and now can get him some protection. Something just has to give though, I mean this is the Cardinals. Either Thomas' knee will explode or someone will trade up and get him just before their pick. I mean, come on, it's the Cardinals.

6. Washington Redskins - DE Gaines Adams - Clemson
Considering their lack of a pass rush last year, this is a perfect "need pick" for them. Adams may be a little smaller than the ideal, but he's still quick and able to get to the QB. Once again though, Dan Snyder, the Ghost of Joe Gibbs, and Tom Cruise are making this selection, so who knows who will be drafted.

7. Minnesota Vikings - WR Ted Ginn - Ohio State
They tried to get a raw receiver with blazing speed once before and that hasn't quite worked out yet. Ginn is another story though. This guy was extremely productive, versatile, and dangerous at OSU and would be a great downfield threat for whichever QB the Vikings suit up in '07.

8. Houston Texans - LT Levi Brown - Penn State
I've been trying and trying to figure out how the Texans will surprise everyone and completely blow yet another draft, but I don't think they could possibly pass up a potential franchise LT in Brown. However, a team that can pass up both Vince Young and Reggie Bush in the same draft can certainly blow this one as well.

9. Miami Dolphins - DT Alan Branch - Michigan
If this guy actually tried to play hard in college, he could have been a top 5 pick. He's huge and very athletic for his size, but just like the saying, size isn't everything (I swear). On potential alone this guy is a top 10 pick, but I'd consider this guy a gamble for sure.

10. Atlanta - DT Amobi Okoye - Louisville
He's a top 10 pick and he's only 19 years old. That's incredible. If he turns out to be a player in this league, and I think he will, he'll be able to sign several big time contracts. An interior line of Rod Coleman and Okoye will certainly help their lack of a pass rush. Too bad the nickname "Nigerian Nightmare" was already taken.

11. San Francisco - WR - Dwayne Jarrett - USC
This offense may actually be formidable next year. Jarrett moves just up the state and the Niners gain a big time play maker to add to their offense. The defense was helped quite a bit in free agency, but I bet they continue to address it in later rounds of this draft.

12. Buffalo - RB Marshawn Lynch - Cal
The Bills have had a stellar offseason so far losing several starting LBs and their #1 tailback. Now Marshawn Lynch gets to move from sunny California to not-so-sunny Buffalo. Sorry Marshawn, I wouldn't want to live their either.

13. St. Louis - DE Jamaal Anderson - Arkansas
Combine Anderson with Leonard "I'm fine to drive" Little and QBs in the NFC West may actually sweat a bit playing the Rams. The offense will continue to be a force with Bulger, Holt, Jackson, and of course the much needed white slot receiver in Drew Bennett; but I really can't remember the last time this defense was any good.

14. Carolina Panthers - S Laron Landry - LSU
If he does drop this far the Panthers are extremely lucky. If I'm the NFL genius I think I am, the Panthers have quite a player here at #14. With Landry patrolling the deep middle, this defensive backfield is loaded which will give Julius Peppers even more time to get to the QB.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers - DE/OLB Jarvis Moss - Florida
I'm really sick of seeing the Gators. Call me bitter (I'm an OSU fan), but I hate that Gator Chop thing. Now this Gator will play for the Steelers so I can continue booing him, perfect, I needed someone to replace Joey Porter.

16. Green Bay - WR Robert Meachem - Tennessee
Since they're not going to get Randy Moss, they get to settle for Robert Meachem. If Favre remembers which jersey to throw to Meachem should be able to produce right away. He's got the size, the speed, and the hands to help this team make it to 2nd place in the worst division in football again.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - DE Adam Carriker - Nebraska
Adam should fit in nicely next to John Henderson and Marcus Stroud on the Jaguars' D-Line. I wouldn't want to be a running back facing that line. The Jaguars have built themselves a nice defense, now, about that QB...

18. Cincinnati Bengals - CB Leon Hall - Michigan
They tried drafting Mother Theresa to help with their recent image problem, but she wasn't available. So instead they turn to the other DB tumbling down the draft. He may not have Deion Sanders' speed, but he'll help out with their awful run game and be a consistent player in the secondary; until he gets arrested.

19. Tennessee Titans - TE Greg Olsen - Miami
Nothing helps a young QB develop like a good safety valve to throw to. Olsen ran past all the other TEs during the combine and made himself several million dollars.

20. New York Giants - S Reggie Nelson - Florida
Reggie Nelson will make plenty of big play interceptions playing for the Giants. I mean, he'll make them in practice, Eli isn't Peyton.

21. Denver Broncos - WR Dwayne Bowe - LSU
Once Dre Bly settles down and quits whining, he'll stay in Denver and make the best CB combo in the league. Then the Broncos can turn their attention to their aging offense. Rod Smith was once catching passese from Moses, so his time in the league is just about done. If Bowe can catch the ball consistently, I hear that's important for WRs to do, he'll be a good player.

22. Dallas Cowboys - DB Aaron Ross - Texas
Ross is capable of playing corner or safety for the Cowboys. They definitely could use someone to cover the deep middle of the field and Ross should be perfect for that.

23. Kansas City - WR Sidney Rice - South Carolina
Whoever the Chiefs decide to make their starting QB needs someone to throw the ball downfield to. They've been using Tony Gonzalez as their only pass catching option for years and still haven't figured out that it's not enough. If they don't stretch the defense Larry Johnson is going to continue to get pounded every game and my fantasy team will suffer. We can't have that.

24. New England Patriots - CB Chris Houston - Arkansas
Hard working, tough as nails corner looks perfect for the Patriots. However, if they add depth to the secondary Bill Belichick's praise for winning despite an injury riddled team may slow down some. I'm sure ESPN will find something else to obsess over with him.

25. New York Jets - DE/OLB Charles Johnson - Georgia
Mangini follows Belichick's scheme and attempts to turn a DE into a pass rushing OLB in the 3-4. Maybe he can talk Chad Pennington into mimicking Tom Brady's every move and the cloning will be complete.

26. Philadelphia - C Ryan Kalil - USC
After trying unsuccessfully to sign LeCharles Bentley a year ago, the Eagles do what they do every year and draft a lineman. Unlike Bentley, Kalil may actually play in a game. If the Eagles are lucky enough for that to happen Kalil looks like a pretty sure-fire center.

27. New Orleans Saints - LB Patrick Willis - Ole Miss
The Saints get Reggie Bush last year and Pat Willis this year. Two cornerstones for this team for years to come. Willis is a play maker. Throughout his career at the great football factory of Ole Miss, Willis has made tackles all over the field and will be a great addition to the Saints.

28. New England Patriots - LB Paul Posluszny - Penn State
He just has to be drafted by the Patriots. He looks like a Patriot linebacker (he's white) and plays like one (he's good). And that's that.

29. Baltimore Ravens - OG Ben Grubbs - Auburn
The Ravens need O-Line help immediately. Jamal Lewis took a lot of blame for his run production slipping, but it's hard to run when there isn't anywhere to go. Grubbs looks like the best guard in the draft and should start immediately for them.

30. San Diego Chargers - WR Steve Smith - USC
A lot of teams need pass catching help and this is the year to draft them. The Chargers offense is great, but adding a receiver like Smith would really help Rivers attack defenses from multiple angles.

31. Chicago Bears - LB Lawrence Timmons - FSU
Whether Lance Briggs plays for the Bears ever again is pretty much up in the air. If he plays this year or not, he'll be gone at the end of the season and Timmons will be there to take over. Now, about that QB...

32. Indianapolis Colts - LB Jon Beason - Miami
They did win the Super Bowl, but I don't think anyone is arguing that the Colts need to improve their run defense. Adding to the need, Cato June signed with Tampa Bay this offseason. At the least they're hoping Beason can make up for that loss.